My Inner Battle – and Excerpt from my Diary: July 13, 2011

Today was hard day. Bolts of energy coursed through my body from the moment I woke up until now, as I prepare for bed. When he put his hands on me earlier I wanted to hit him, scream, fight him off. It would have been futile. I’ve been telling him it’s over for years. He has a way of pulling the life from inside me. I want to speak, but I can’t. I want to scream, but I can’t. The bolts of energy want to escape, to be released from my veins, but they are trapped, just like me.

I am tired, alone and I feel like no matter which direction I go he is there, looking at me. I feel him looking at me even when he is not in the same room. I am a hostage. I try to keep it together. Some days are better than others.

I look at my children and they bring strength back to my aching heart. Thank God for them. For their innocence. To be there again and not have to fight for freedom every day. I pray that my daughters never experience the games and cruelty from the men they give their hearts to. I pray my boys become better men from what they have seen me go through. The best gift I can give to my children is my love. It is all for them. I will sacrifice what I must in order to give them the life they deserve. I am strong and need to believe in order to survive. All I ever wanted was love. We all deserve love, don’t we? I gave my all to the wrong man. But he did give me five hearts that fill mine with joy.

I live with lies. I am tired of them. How can someone have such a dark side – one that is unknown to everyone but me? To see such darkness is not fair. My love for him was long ago replaced with hate. My hate is laced with despise. “You have nothing without me”… He believes that to be true. Little does he realize, I’d have my life without him.

I know that there will come a day when he won’t be able to get to me. Every day when I wake up I look in the mirror and see his reflection. I know the day that I can look in the mirror and see only myself that that is the day I am free. To love again is a just dream right now, but I believe.

The Controlled Tour Page:

About the Book:

Sarah Ruiz thought she had it all – until someone entered her life who was hell-bent on destroying her.

Sarah Ruiz is a business owner, a fitness trainer and a mom. Married to the ever-so-charming and wealthy Alex Ruiz, Sarah appears to have the perfect life. But behind closed doors, he revealed a side of himself that destroyed her love for him. With five beautiful children and unable to leave her situation, Sarah knows she must make changes.

Sarah’s journey to freedom take a turn when a man, Gabe Benoit, promises to help her. Thus starts a whirlwind of romance, intrigue, seduction, blackmail and manipulation. No matter which way Sarah turns, she is backed into a corner before she can even realize it. When she finally has promise of a better future, she must use every ounce of her strength to work her way through the web of lies and find truth on her journey to independence.

Purchase The Controlled at AMAZON.

About the Author:

Becky Komant was born and raised in beautiful Kelowna, British Columbia. Spending most of her childhood years outdoors and playing sports, Becky’s passion for fitness was ignited. Working at a gym at the age of 16, she then went on to an advertising position at a local newspaper following high school. Soon after, Becky started her family and wanted to be more involved with her children. It was then that Becky followed her passion and founded a successful private training studio. Realizing that being a trainer was much more than just helping people physically, this lead her in the direction of becoming a certified life coach. Because of her fitness and life coaching career, Becky always envisioned writing a book. Overtime and thought, it evolved into her first novel, The Controlled. With more writing on the horizon, she hopes to inspire others on many levels. Becky continues to reside in Kelowna with her family.

Her latest book is the adult suspense thriller, The Controlled.

Learn more about Becky


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