It Never Ends

As mothers and daughters age, their relationship shifts and changes in complex and often demanding ways. In It Never Ends, women speak openly about the satisfactions and sorrows of mothering middle-aged daughters and discuss the issues that continue to surface, the ongoing effects of the past on the present, and the varied and often invisible ways they continue mothering. Mothers acknowledge an inevitable recalibrating of authority, autonomy, and independence now that they no longer are as central in the lives of their daughters as they once were. 

 In these pages mothers reveal the courage that comes with aging and their engagement in a time of reckoning: acknowledging past mistakes, forgiving themselves and their daughters, and moving toward a greater acceptance of their connection in all its human imperfection.

My Review


I liked this book. I thought authors, Sandra Butler and Nan Fink Gefen did a good job of compiling all of these different stories from many different women and walks of life. Although, I must admit that I found a bunch of the stories to be sad if not a little depressing. It is sad that some of the women's stories featured relationships with their estranged daughters. I could not imagine this type of relationship. This is because I am fortunate to have a close relationship with my mom. I try to visit at least every other weekend and although I only live about fifteen to twenty minutes away, after I leave I call or message my mom to let her know I got home safely. Additionally, I could relate to the fact that just because I am in my mid-thirties that I don't still need my mom. I still go to her for advice. 

Although, many of the women's stories were uplifting to read. There were other mother/daughter relationships that were close like mine and others that they saw or spoke to their daughters every so often and they were fine with this. There was even one woman who traveled to another country to visit her daughter for a long trip. Then there were women who were not close before but have grown closer as the ages have gone by. I found this book to be a thoughtful read, if not a conversational piece. This book would be a good bookclub read as well. A mother's love never ends.

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Authors

Nan Fink Gefen is the author of Stranger in the Midst: A Memoir of Spiritual Discovery, Discovering Jewish Meditation, and Clear Lake: A Novel, winner of the IndieFab Gold Award for general fiction. After fifteen years in practice as a psychotherapist, she became the cofounding publisher in 1986 of Tikkun magazine, a journal of politics, culture, and society. In 2007 she founded Persimmon Tree: An Online Magazine of the Arts by Women Over Sixty, where she remains as publisher. Nan lives with her husband in Berkeley CA. Their blended family includes seven children and ten grandchildren.

Sandra Butler is the author of Conspiracy of Silence: The Trauma of Incest. Her second book, Cancer in Two Voices, coauthored with Barbara Rosenblum, was the winner of the 1991 Lambda Literary Award. She is also the co-producer of the award-winning documentaries Cancer in Two Voices and Ruthie and Connie: Every Room in the House. She has two middle-aged daughters and a rich community of women friends.